A sacred knot has been sewn into each heart; it holds within us elements of our authentic life and also holds a truth about the world. Each of us has come to life to learn to untie the unique knot set within us and unfold the dream that it holds. To be purposeful in life does not simply mean to be goal-oriented; rather, it means to seek to reconnect to the source and meaning of our life.
--Michael Meade from his essay "Untying our Inner Knots"
Today I visited Six Mile Cypress Slough. I could not recall when I was there the last time, but I was so glad to be there and feeling so physically good about it.
It was an overcast day and a bit rainy, and the usual photographers were there with their incredible lenses. I walked with a new vigor I have not felt in a very long time, and was even visited by a cardinal at one juncture.
After a while, I felt the messages coming through. I have been feeling abundance in my life at every level, and have been promised May would be "magical." I was also reminded that I used to think that I had no idea what I would do with myself when I retired. Thankfully, that has not been an issue at all. In fact, the way is being pointed to me and I am following easily.
And that is what brought me to something that really made me think.
I decided to pull out my phone and make a voice memo. And when I did that, I found a series of voice memos from a visit I made at the slough February 24, 2024. I found myself listening to those messages and reflecting back on the time it represents for me: the weekend before Jim began his chemotherapy. I was feeling terror as well as naive hope that some kind of miracle was at hand. I thought of time frames as well. This would be just over 7 months before I lost him. This coming week it's been 7 months since he passed.
When I got home, I discovered I had written a whole blog with the voice memos from that February trip to the slough. I seriously did not remember it until I saw the blog post.
All of this came together nicely when I read the essay by Michael Meade which provided the quote today. What I am finding in my life right now is an untying of the knot of my authentic life, revealing itself one turn at a time. Things seem smoother, fear is more easily abated, and the feeling that this is a life to be lived fully has taken over. I know that for a few years I was pulling myself inside, exhausted by living, struggling to keep a joyful spirit. Now, everything feels more natural. Decisions are made with a new certainty. Even in moments of grief, I find a release that lifts me higher.
It was incredible to get to the slough, to walk over 1-1/2 miles and not feel tired or achy. Energy truly is everything, and I'm grateful for nature and my relationship with God and the Universe which makes these mornings so fulfilling.
